Erik Eats: That of Which Mulch is Made with of Drink Tea and Soy

This week’s Erik Eats segment involves the consumption of a vegetarian product that is purported to replicate one of the greatest meat products of all time. Can Cha Do stand up to the challenge and can it satisfy Erik’s craving for beef jerky?

Here is the bag of Cha Do, Veggie Jerky. Made by the Companion Company.


The Companion Company was very brave to create a clear front so that we could look inside and see the mulchiness that calls the bag interior its home.

Let’s check out the packaging:


What’s this? Cha Do is a Tea Time Snack? This setting won’t do. Let’s take this party up a social notch.


Much better! Let's continue the packaging inspection.

Hot and Spicy! Just like Erik.


And it’s PREMIUM QUALITY!

On the back, I find that the bar code has been covered over by a bar code sticker.

The bar code underneath came from a lawn and garden company. I assume that is where they got their mulch based soy.

There was a very nice message on the back from the manufacturer and some Chinese letters underneath.


Let’s get Arata Isozaki to translate this mess:


Well… let’s not tell Erik this. Next! Into the package!



JUST OPEN THE FUCKING THING!!!!!


Here’s a close up of the product.


Very mulchy.

And stringy.

Erik eats…





He likes it! He says it compares NOTHING to beef jerky, but that it is tasty and very edible.

We also found this in the pack.


The blue packet must be delicious so we give it to Josh to eat.



On the way to the emergency room, Josh said it was crunchy and delicious.

Next week: Potted Plant of which grows from the back orifice of Erik

Farm Machinery Warning Labels: Part 1

Be sure to check out Farm Machinery Warning Labels: Part 2.

Right Between the Legs

Right between the legs, originally uploaded by holyjuan.

What started out as a hair-pulling, bout of shyness, turned into a heart warming, half-hour of son induced inspiration.

We arrived at Greg's soccer practice and the kids were paired up to kick the ball back and forth. Greg refused and mentally wrapped himself around my leg.

I did not beg nor did I bribe, as Miss Sally has taught me the way. I did almost lose it, but in the end I somehow got him to start interacting with the other kids.

And then he did great. This photo is of Greg kicking the ball between the legs of the coach's assistant.

I am a proud papa.

Now, let's see what happens at tomorrow's practice.

Monks Disguise Themselves as Chinese Soldiers

This photo clearly shows the cleverness of the Tibetan Monks right after they disguised themselves as Chinese soldiers and infiltrated the Army's ranks. Note the two monks disguised as a cart and the skinny one disguised as a bike.


Photo via Phayul.com

Bush's Desk Calendar - January 2009

(click to enlarge)

Blogger Choice Awards

It is such an honor to be nominated for these three awards! Vote early and often!! If only there was some way to thank the person that nominated me!

Bat Boy Erik

Greg and Dad: Stanley wonders

New Prescription Self-Serve Dispenser

Very Cute

Holy crap, that girl is cute. She's also an obnoxious bear... but cute.

Irection Cab- I could ride this all day long!

The "d" is so hard to read that this does look like an "irection" cab.

Swedish Fish 100 Calorie Packs – DON’T BE FOOLED!

I am a connoisseur of Swedish Fish. I love them and they love me. I eat them and they melt in my mouth and swim in my belly. The only problem with them is that they come in eight ounce, single serving packs. The bag might suggest that there are five servings inside, but once the bag is opened, it is too hard to avoid the red, succulent sweetness inside and soon the pack is empty.

While browsing the candy isle at the grocery store for road trip snacks, I found the solution to my calorie engorging issue… Swedish Fish 100 Calorie Packs. Five one-hundred calorie packs per box! I could eat the sweet fish with a measure of control! I was delighted.


Next day, during our seven hour trip to North Carolina, I cracked open a 100 calorie packet of Swedish Fish. The pack shone in the sun and light flickered off the words on the package, “Smaller Pieces, Same Big Flavor.” Into my hand poured several smaller, but tasty looking fish. I popped them in my mouth…

Something was wrong. They were not the same. They were slightly gritty. They were not as gummy. They tasted… off. Tears slipped from my eyes and I blamed the glare off the road.

Here is a photo of the smaller fish with a normal sized fish:


You can tell from the photo that the larger fish is less opaque. The smaller fish is foggy.

Here’s a section view:


The ingredients on both packs are the same. I think the problem is with scale (fish scale?) The fish are smaller, but the skin thickness is the same if not thicker! There is less gummy in the middle. It’s just not the same.

Stay away from the 100 calorie snack packs. For 100 calories, eat about 5 of the larger fishes.

I see you found the vacuum

Sydney

I met Sydney this weekend on our trip to North Carolina. I think I captured her personality in this photo.

Gay Erik?

How can my hair make someone else look so completely gay?

German Wikipedia

Check out the last link on this Danny Elfman German Wikipedia page. And no, you don't need to know German or Nazi secret language, though it helps to hate Norwegians.

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Danny_Elfman

You know you've hit it big when you make it as a reference on Wikipedia!

K.roger

What a real Psychic Fair advertisment should look like

There is a Psychic Fair in town and signs popped up on every exit and street corner with dates, a phone number and a location. I say BULLSHIT! This is what a real Psychic Fair sign should look like.