Scambaiting again... (updated 1/10/08)

Scambaiting is the act of deceiving a scam artist. These guys are crooks and the more time I spend with them, the less there is for them to steal from old ladies. This time around, I’ve got a Mr. Koffi Allen who wants to share millions with me. Sadly, I am a bed ridden accident victim named Handsy Galore. (That sounds like a James Bond gay evil guy name.) Also look for my lawyer friend Dee Sknuts towards the end.

The e-mail is in order from top to bottom. Anything in {brackets} is my commentary. I edited down the first e-mail to save you a few agonizing minutes. {Each correspondence is broken up by a line.}
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From: koffiallen39@hotmail.fr
Subject: Revelational Claim.
Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2007 16:43:56 +0300

Revelational Claim. Hello, I humbly appologise with every due respect for any embarrassment my action in contacting you might cause you. Owing to the fact that we do not know each other before. This is because of this ample opportunity before me to which I will never want us to loose. But for the fact that I cannot do it alone, I therefore wish to contact you for it. My name is (Mr. Koffi Allen) a citizen of this country{BLAH BLAH BLAH} Bear in mind that we have only but a limited time to get this deal acomplished. No room for delays.

Sincerely yours
Mr. Koffi Allen.
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From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Fri 12/21/07 1:43 AM
To: koffiallenali@yahoo.de
Hello Mr. Koffi Allen,

Please to let me help you. I have freinds and bac up cashe to pay and such,

Signed,

Handsy Galore
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Date: Fri, 21 Dec 2007 10:31:45 +0100
From: allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr
Subject: From Mr. Koffi Allen.
To: Handsy Galore
Dear Friend ,

Thanks for your mail. I am a family man with three children. I am assuring you 100% risk free in this business in as long as you follow up my direction and instructions. As an insider here in the bank I shall be passing every necessary information to you accordingly for the smooth running and success of this transaction. I have done all the underground work for the success of this transaction.

As soon as I hear from you with the requested information below, I will be sending you an Application Letter Of Claim (ALOC) which you will be forwarding to the bank as the legitimate Next Of Kin to Dr. Yasser Taymullah Muwaffaq, so as to lay claims over the funds. Thereafter I shall be backing you up with every necessary information the bank may require of you in other to clarify your claim. However you will also bear in mind that on no account should you let the bank know that I am invlove in this very transaction. Ofcourse you should know that our success in this transaction depends on its confidentiality, therefore do keep this deal to yourself alone.

Feel free to contact me on phone for more discussion with this number 00226 7683 0414
I need the following information from you for us to proceed:

1. YOUR FULL NAME
2. OCCUPATION
3 POSITION
4. ADDRESS
5. AGE
6. TELEPHONE NUMBER
7. MARITAL STATUS

I wait to hear from you as soon as possible. Endeavour to respond to me through this very email id for an easy assessment of your mail.

Mr. Koffi Allen.
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From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Fri 12/21/07 8:22 AM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Dear Mr koffiali,

You return e-mail is thanks. Sorry for my typing is bad. I am bound in bed with head injery from car accident. Not my fault and the insurance money good. I could use more money and a freind.

Here is the answers:

I am Handsy Galore
I do not have job (car crash)
I do not have postion (car crash)
I live Friendship Villiage, a care home
5800 Forest Hills Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio 43231
Phone: (614) 890-xxxx

I am 39 years of age
My wife is dead from the crash, but i still consider self married to her soul

Please to not be afraid to type me even though I am injured. I could use a friend. Let me know to help with your situation.

I am soory but i cannot travel in my condition. As long as coorespondence is all that necessary, that is good.

Your new friend,

Handsy
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Dear Friend

Thanks so much for your mail and especially for needed information which you has forwarded to me.Sorry for such a fatal accident which you had. I know you will be better with my presence over there and as soon as you gradually follow up my advice everything will be successful. However considering the fact that I really would need this deal to be concluded in the nearest time possible, I am sending to you immediately ALOC. Application letter of Claim so that you can forward it to the bank immediately. Once you sends this letter to the bank using the bank's email account then try and let me know pls, so that I can be monitoring the movement of everything from here.

Thanks and remain blessed.
Mr. Koffi Allen
{This is a copy of the letter I am spose to send out… I do send it out and copy Mr. Allen.}
Below is the letter.

Attn: Dr.Richardson Compaore.
Director Foreign Remittance Dept.
Bank of Africa (BOA)
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso
Tel: 226 7066 0088
Email: boaremitdept3@excite.com

LETTER OF CLAIM
My name is Handsy Galore , I am writing to notify your bank the deposited fund of Fourty Seven Million United States Dollars deposited ($47,000,000.00) in your custody by my business associate Dr. Yasser Taymullah Muwaffaq of blessed memory from Kingdom Of Saudi Arabia. The said fund was deposited on account No. 011976421134, retening no. 91002211.

I as the Next of Kin and business associate to Dr. Yasser Taymullah Muwaffaq is hereby putting claim over the said fund and required that this funds be transferred to my bank account which I will be forwarding to your bank on the approval of my application and readiness of the transfer of the my inheritance fund to my account. I will be very much happy if this my notification claim letter will be given an urgent attention and let me know the necessary requirements for the release of my inheritance fund to me without any delay.

Thanks for your co-operation.
Yours Faithfully.
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{The “bank” replies.}

ATTN: MR. HANDSY GALORE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

SIR,

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS BANK HAVE RECEIVED YOUR APPLICATION LETTER OF CLAIM FOR THE ONWARD TRANSFER OF THE FUND FOURTY SEVEN MILLION U.S DOLLARS ($47,000.000.00) UNITED STATES DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN OUR BANK BY DR. YASSER TAYMULLAH MUWAFFAQ.

BASED ON THE RELATIONSHIP THAT EXISTED BETWEEN THE BANK'S BOARD OF DIRECTOR'S AND THE LATE CLIENT, WE THE BOARD OF THE DIRECTORS OF THIS BANK DO WISHES TO SEND OUR CONDOLENCE MESSAGE TO YOU ON THE DEATH OF YOUR PARTNER. WE SYMPATHISE WITH YOU FOR THIS GREAT LOSE. DO ACCEPT OUR SYMPATHY. WE HAD WAITED FOR HIS NEXT OF KIN EVER SINCE HIS DEATH, TO SAY WE ARE SORRY FOR HIS DEATH.

CONSQUENTLY, BASED ON PERSONAL RECOGNITION OF YOUR PARTNER WHO HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF OUR MOST RECOGNISED CUSTOMER THEN, WE THE BOARD OF THE DIRECTORS OF THIS BANK SHALL BE HAVING A BRIEF MEETING IN THIS REGARD, THE OUTCOME OF THIS MEETING SHALL BE FACILITATED TO YOU IN THE NEXT TWO HOURS. ONCE AGAIN WE ARE SORRY FOR HIS UNTIMELY DEMISE.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

DR RICHARDSON COMPAORE
THE OVERALL DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS FOREIGN
REMITTANCE DIVISION BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA) HQ. BURKINA FASO ZONE.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.

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{Two hours flew by!}

ATTN: MR. HANDSY GALORE

SIR,

AFTER OUR MEETING IN REGARDS TO YOUR REQUEST FOR THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS ($47,000,000.00)FOURTY SEVEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS, WE HEREIN ADVICE YOUR KIND SELF TO FORWARD THE APPROPRIATE ANSWERS TO THE GIVEN QUESTIONS TO OUR OFFICE IMMEDIATELY. THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST VITAL MEANS THROUGH WHICH THE LEGITIMACY OF YOUR APPLICATION CAN BE PROVEN OTHERWISE. TO THAT NOTE, WE SHALL THEREBY COMMENCE FORTHWITH FOR THE APPROVAL OF YOUR FUNDS TRANSFER AFTERWARDS.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION
DR. RICHARDSON COMPAORE
HELM OF AFFAIRS
FORIEGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

{Here is the form.}

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{I reply to Mr. Allen}

From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Mon 12/24/07 8:54 AM
To: allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr
Security scan upon download Trend Micro ® logo
Attachments: BANK OF A...doc (48.2 KB)
Mr. Allen,

To not believe the money amount of 47 million! That is a lot of money.

The bank is sent me a form to fill out. Can you help me to fill the spaces?

How is weather is your country? We have snow and ice today. I can see frost on the window from bed. I sad I can not play in the snow.

When will you be in Ohio to visit me? I could use a visit.

Handsy
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Dearest Friend,

Thanks for your mail. I want to advice that you should take this business just as your own personal business because this is all I have depended on since all my service in this bank. Again, you should note that the bank might be carrying its private or personnal investigations by using the International investigative section which is a sub-section of the security department of the bank and as such any mail or any fax that you might receive from any individual relating transaction of this nature please and please, DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY WITHOUT FIRST CONTACTING ME, this is to avoide making mistakes because the security department of the bank is at alert. Pls do let me know immediately if your account can carry this amount without any problems?. Yes it is exactly $47Million. I shall be making my visit to ohio by the 2nd week of january 2008. The weather here is kind of normal, in the sense it is not as hot as it use to be. A little bit warm during the day while cold in the night. I think using a visit in the letter of invitation is very much ok by me.

Again my dear, I want you to know that once this funds is been transferred to your bank account I and my family shall be coming to meet with you in your country but I will first be visiting you alone, afterwards I shall go back to pick my family alongside with me once after we finalise the sharing of the money according to our agreed percentage terms. I have not even disclosed this matter to my wife. I intend to keep it secret until we finalise it, then it would be a surprise package to her and my children. Please my dear, I will want you to send a letter of invitation to me before this week ends so that I can quickly apply for my visa, because there is no much time left. I will take my leave immediately the money is been wired to your account. Since I am in the bank I will know when the money is transferred and I will resign my appointment immediately, and take off. I have already written my resignation letter, waiting only to submit it. I have already told the manager that I may be resigning my appointment very soon and he wanted to know why and I told him it is a personal family problems that prompted my resignation. After all my years of pain and sleepless nights, thinking on how best to carry out this task and now it is about becoming a success. You will never know how excited I am until we meet face to face.

Thanks and remain blessed my brother as I wait for your response urgently.
Yours Mr. Koffi Allen.


Bellow are the ansewrs, forward it to the bank immediately.

1,Dr. Yasser Taymullah Muwaffaq
2,Saudi Arabia Nationality.
3,Next Of Kin
4,68 years.
5, January 2002,He Died in a plane crash.
6,Self Employed,Import and Exports.
7,Yes.
8,YASSER INTERNATIONALE SARL IMPORT AND EXPORT COMPANY
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO.Registratioin No.11 B/F 000000081.
9,Fixed Deposit account.
10, Acc No : 011976421134, REF NO: 0.111555.000.
11,Yes.
12,Abeer Fawziya Muwaffaq.
13,Yes.
14,Three, Alia, Azeeza and Yasser, 2 girls and one boy.
15,1001 Avenue Du Azimmo,Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
State also your full name,addresse and occupation here as the bank demandded.

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{I was busy during the holidays and Mr. Allen is getting feisty.}

Date: Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:52:26 +0100
From: allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr
Subject: From Mr. Koffi Allen.
To: Handsy Galore
Dear Handsy,

I have been seriously worried because I never heard from you for the past 2 days. You and I know the urgency which this very deal calls for. We do not need to entertain any atom of delay in this project. I would need to hear from you urgently. Have you sent the answers to the bank's question to them?

I shall expecting your mail asap.

Yours Mr. Koffi Allen

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{I looked up the real bank fax number on line and decide to give Mr. Allen a scare.}

From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Fri 12/28/07 8:25 AM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Mr. Allen,

It has being sent! I had my caretakr print the sheet. Hours it took me to fill it out as my hand is not steady.

I faxed it to the bank faxing machine.

The fax number on the sheet was not working so my caretaker was able to look up the bank on the internet and got a differnt number of faxing. 226 50308874 is what he said. I got a confirmation.

I will let you know as soon as the bank contancts me.

I cannot meet you at the airport so I will hoping that you can call me once you arrive in Ohio. Ask the front desk for my name!

Handsy
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{He’s pissed.}

Dear Friend,

In this very deal, you do not have to do things without my knowledge. If we must excute this deal together, then do exactly that which I asked you to, so as to avoid mistakes ok. Now send the document to the bank by email attachment. You should understand that this country is a french country and the department handling this matter is the foriegn remittance department of the bank. It is not the affairs of the entire bank, there is a particular department responsible for things of this nature.

As you may understand I am working with one of the bank's branch and not the headquater office. This very transaction is been masterminded by the same branch because that is where the late depositor made the deposit of his funds. My dear pls I plead with you not to contradict matters by doing things your own way. I contacted you for this deal and for that before anything do let me know.

Lastly go ahead and resend the answers by email attachment ok. I will be waiting to receive from you.

Yours Mr. Koffi Allen

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RE: From Mr. Koffi Allen.‏
From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Fri 12/28/07 8:17 PM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
I are to be so sorry for this mystake whick I ave created. I was able to send my helper home and he has scanned the documnt so that it can be transfered via e-mail attchment.

I am soory I did not flow your directins exctly. I know this is a lot of meonye and very imortant.

I will send the e-mail to the back as an attachment as requested.

Plese to make your forginess as I want this to go smooth.

I have freiend in the taxi busineess that can help you when you come into Columbus in two weeks. Go to the taxi stand and ask for Johnny Two Sack. He is the leader of the taxi drivers and if you mention Handsy, he will give you a dicounted fare.

The e-mail to the bank with attchment to foolow.

Your friend,

Handsy

{Here is the attachment. Please note the handwriting. I wrote this upside down and left handed to make it as illegible as possible. Click to enlarge.}



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{Some how the "Bank" was able to read my gibberish handwriting and sent a message with some attachments. In the first one, they mention that I need to cough up $7,000 to reactivate the account.}

BANK OF AFRICA
From: Remit (boaremitdept3@excite.com)
Sent: Sat 12/29/07 4:51 AM
Reply-to: boaremitdept3@excite.com
To: Handsy Galore
Attachments: BOA APPLI...doc (54.1 KB), BOA FUNDS...doc (51.5 KB)

ATTN: MR. HANDSY GALORE

SIR

YOU ARE ADVICED HEREIN TO CHECK THE BOTH ATTACHED FILES AND CAREFULLY FOLLOW UP THE CONTAINED INFORMATION FOR YOUR FUNDS TRANSFER.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION
DR. RICHARDSON COMPAORE
HELM OF AFFAIRS
FORIEGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
BANK OF AFRICA
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

BOA Funds Reactivation Letter

BOA Funds Reactivation Application


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{I forward Mr. Allen the good news with a touch of bad news about my finances. I also include a photo of myself.}

From: Handsy Galore
Sent: Sun 12/30/07 5:46 PM
To: allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr

THis is grate news friend! A leeter was sent from the Bank and they acceptd mine applicaton.

The bad news is that they need $7,000. I have about $5000. CAn you paid for the other $2000? I can pay you back once I get the monies from the bank.

I am very much waiting to see you. Do you have a photo to sent to me? I have atthed mine.

Your best friend,

Handsy




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{Mr. Allen is very understanding about my money issues.}

From Mr. Koffi Allen‏ From: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Sent: Mon 12/31/07 5:21 AM
To: Handsy Galore

Dearest Friend,

Thanks so much for your mail and thanks for sending across to me the bank's mail as well. Well I have heard what you said and that is why I have quickly auction out my car in other to raise the $2000 you asked me to provide. I have already sent my mother inlaw in the person of Mrs. Reine Atam to the bank with the $2000 and she called me 5 minutes ago that she has made this payment to the bank. Now after sending the balance of $5000 to the bank write to them to confirm to them that you are the one that sent your partner here in Burkina Faso in the person of Mrs Reine Atam with the $2000 to them. I told the woman to tell the bank that you are the one that sent her with the money, while I asked her to tell the bank that you will be paying the balance fews hrs later.

My dear you go ahead and send the balance to the bank immediately so that the bank will receive the full payment today. As you know tomorrow will be public holiday here. Do this now and get me informed. Pls I want to let you know that you should not under any circumstances tell the western union argent why you are sending the money. If you were asked for what purpose you are sending the money, tell them that you are sending the money to your cousin in Burkina Faso. The reason is because I do not want any one both here or over there to know anything related this very deal. Pls try to protect my interest as you can see everything is fast coming to a successful end. Therefore do not under any circumstances disclose the secret of this very deal to any one no matter what, until we archieve our aim. Am still working in the bank remember.

I saw your photo. It seems you had been sick before. Am sorry for that. I guess you are ok now. I hope to meet you sound and hearthy on my arrival soonest.

I am attaching my photo and that of my family as well.

Thanks and remain blessed as we hope to celebrate our victory in couple of days.

Yours Mr. Koffi Allen.



{Wait a minute.. he said he had three children! I assume they sold the child to get the $2000.}

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BANK OF AFRICA
From: Remit (boaremitdept3@excite.com)
Sent: Mon 12/31/07 8:34 AM
Reply-to: boaremitdept3@excite.com
To: Handsy Galore


ATTN: MR. HANDSY GALORE

THIS IS TO INFORM YOU THAT MRS. REINE ATAM HAS PAID THE SUM OF $2000.00 ON YOUR BEHALF 4 HOURS AGO. WE ARE WAITING HEREIN FOR THE BALANCE OF THE $5000.00 FROM YOUR KIND SELF AS SHE MADE US TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE BALANCE WILL BE PAID BY YOUR KINDSELF AT THE SAME TIME. ONCE THIS IS DONE WE SHALL COMMENCE FORTHWITH ON THE RE-ACTIVATION OF YOUR ACCOUNT.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

DR RICHARDSON COMPAORE
THE OVERALL DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS FOREIGN
REMITTANCE DIVISION BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA) HQ. BURKINA FASO ZONE.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO


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{I really hate to disappoint my faithful readers, but this scam needed to come to a close. So sadly, this is a letter to Mr. Allen from Handsy's attorney, Dee Sknuts.


Dear Mr. Allen,

My name is Ms. Sknuts and I represent Mr. Handsy Galore.

It is with the saddest of news that I must tell you that Handsy Galore died on Monday December 31st of 2007. He slipped on a bed pan and received what the doctors call a triple concussion. They tried everything to save his life, including a taint transplant, but alas... he is dead.

As the executor of his will, I am put with the task of working through his finances. He was in the process of completing a transaction for you, but because he did not make it to the bank in time, I am unable to continue the process and must follow the rule of law.

I have attached the headline from the local newspaper. Handsy was a hero and we will all miss him. We are glad he had such a good friend in you.

Thank you for your time and best of luck.

Dee Sknuts
Deewey, Cheetum and Howe Law Firm



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{OK, so I lied... I kept going, now with Handsy dead, the lawyer, Dee Sknuts is getting into the game. Koffi ignored the first letter from the lawyer and sent this concerned e-mail.}

From: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Sent: Fri 1/04/08 3:47 AM
To: Handsy Galore
Dearest Brother,

How are you today?. Honestly I had been seriously disturbed because today is friday and yet I never heard from you. What is going on. I mean what is delaying this payment. You know I have paid 2000dollars already and you should not in any wise keep the bank waiting for the balance. The bank has been assured that the balance would be provided by you at the same time otherwise the bank would not have collected the 2000dollars from my mother inlaw. They do not accept part payment on account re-activation. They accepted this because Mrs Reine Atam assured them that the balance will be sent to them at the same time. Why are you keeping this delays. What is happening? Am confused for your silence. Pls do not let the bank wait for you any further because it will not be healthy enough. If you had been paid the balance of the 5000dollars before now, then we should have been expecting the arrival of this funds into your bank account by now. My dear I am having sleepless nights over this matter and I really needs you to act now, since we have no time to waste further. I should have applied for my visa by now but I cant do this until this funds is been transferred to your bank account. I have already written my resignation letter but I cant submit it either until this funds is been wired into your bank account. I hope you understand the state I am at the present.

Thanks for your understanding as I expect goodnews immediately.

Yours Mr. Koffi Allen.

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{I sent back a "form letter" response.}

From: Dee Sknuts
Sent: Fri 1/04/08 7:51 PM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
**Automated return**

Please contact Ms. Sknuts for any issues concerning the late Mr. Galsore's estate at deesknuts@gmail.com.

Thank you.

Dee Sknuts
Deewey, Cheetum and Howe Law Firm

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{I then sent this letter directly to the "bank" from Dee Sknuts. Note the "lawyer" talk.}

Sent: Fri 1/04/08 8:14 PM
To: boaremitdept3@excite.com
To whom it may concern,

My name is Dee Sknuts and I am a lawyer in the United States of America. My client, Handsy Galore, recently passed away and is unable to complete this transaction. I am handling his accounts and transactions.

There is a second party, of which I cannot name due to client privilege, who was interested in assisting with this transaction completion. Because this person was a friend of Mr. Handsy Galore, I would be interested in assisting them with the collection of the monies due.

Is there a writ of corpus or style of vag that could be accomplished so that this second party could collect the funds due to Mr. Handsy? I am capable of releasing Mr. Handsy's funds to assist the unnamed party as long as this second person can rename nameless.

Please forward any other e-mails to my work address at xxxx@gmail.com as this address will be deleted soon. If you can e-mail me a letter which states that Mr. Handsy's "habeus corpus" can be forwarded, then I can assist in completing this transaction.

IF YOU KNOW OF THE SECOND PARTY, DO NOT CONTACT THEM AS THIS WILL BE AGAINST MY PERSONAL CODE OF LIABILITY.

Thank you,

Dee Sknuts

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{The bank replies to the lawyer.}

BANK OF AFRICA‏
From: Remit (boaremitdept3@excite.com)
Sent: Sat 1/05/08 3:55 AM
Reply-to: boaremitdept3@excite.com

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

WE ARE AT THE VERGE OF TRANSFERRING THE FUNDS INTO THE DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT OF MR. HANDSY GALORE AND NOW HIS SUDDEN DEATH. WE SYMPATHISE WITH YOU FOR THIS GREAT LOSE OF YOUR PARTNER MR. HANDSY GALORE. HOWEVER WE HAVE NOTHING WHATSOVER TO DEAL WITH ANYONE ELSE EXCEPT IF YOU PROVES TO US THAT HE IS THE ONE THAT HAS AUTHORISED YOU TO RECEIVE HIS FUNDS ON HIS BEHALF IN CASES OF DEATH LIKE THIS, THEN WE SHALL BE MAKING THE TRANSFER INTO YOUR OWN BANK ACCOUNT AS YOU ARE EXPECTED TO FORWARD SAME TO US WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT. BEAR IN MIND THAT THE BALANCE AMOUNT OF $5,000.00 MUST BE PAID IN OTHER TO RE-ACTIVATE THE ACCOUNT BEFORE THE TRANSFER.

BE REMINDED HEREIN THAT WE SHALL NOT BE ENTERTAINING ANY OTHERS ON THE CONTRATRY. TO THAT EFFECT YOU ARE EXPECTED TO FOLLOW CAREFULLY THE ABOVE INSTRUCTION AS ANYTHING ELSE ON THE CONTRARY SHALL NOT

BE CONDOLDED. WE MAY NOT RESPOND TO ANY OTHER MAIL THAT IS NOT IN LINE WITH OUR INSTRUCTION ABOVE.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

DR RICHARDSON COMPAORE

THE OVERALL DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS FOREIGN

REMITTANCE DIVISION BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA) HQ. BURKINA FASO ZONE.

OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
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{The lawyer sends Koffi a letter about re-paying the 2K plus a finders fee.}

Sent: Sat 1/05/08 8:28 PM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Dear Sir,

I spoke to the bank and in respect to your and your family, I did not mention your name.

I will tell you this. This money was due to Mr. Handsy and Mr. Handsy alone and it seems unlawful that you were attempting to take a cut of this.

You have proven your faith by putting down $2,000 dollars of your own money. In that, my law firm is willing to pay you back the $2,000 as well as a $1,000 "finders fee."

We cannot send a check, but we can do a wire transfer. Please forward your information to xxx@gmail.com and we will reimburse you for your troubles.

Please do not interfere in our business and we will not tell the bank of your bad intentions.

Thank you,

Dee Sknuts

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From Mr. Koffi Allen.‏
From: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
Sent: Mon 1/07/08 4:09 AM

Dear Friend

If you wish to give me the $2000 then send it to me through western union money transfer. Send it with my name. Mr. Koffi Allen. This is Ouagadougou the capital city of Burkina Faso. Do this and let me know. If you cant sent send through western union then forget it pls.

Thanks

Mr. Koffi Allen

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Attention Mr. Koffi Allen,

We cannot not do a money order. We can only do a wire transfer.

We find it odd that you would give up $2,000.00 so easily. Are you so rich that you do not need the money? Please explain yourself.

We are still waiting for some paperwork to be processed to access the 14 million dollars you so kindly found for Mr. Galore. We would like to reward you, but if you are not interested in the money, we will not pursue to get it to you via wire transfer. If you are under scrutiny we can forward the money to another bank account under a different name.

Thank you for your time,

Dee Sknuts
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{I got pissed that Koffi did not reply to my letter so I decide to rat him out to the"bank.}

Sent: Wed 1/09/08 9:39 PM
To: boaremitdept3@excite.com
Dear Sirs,

I must bring it to your attention that one of your bank employees is attempting to trick you. His name is Koffi Allen and he has been attempting to steal money from my late client Mr. Handsy Galore.

Mr. Allen secretly contacted Mr. Galore and offered to split monies with him.

I believe that Mr. Allen is going to try this again with some of your other customers.

Please check into this fellow as I believe his will attempt to disrupt our transaction.

I hate to tell you this, but in the face of honesty, it is a necessity.

Dee Sknuts
Representing Handsy Galore


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BANK OF AFRICA‏
From: Remit (boaremitdept3@excite.com)
Sent: Thu 1/10/08 3:03 AM
Reply-to: boaremitdept3@excite.com
To:

ATTN: MR. HANDSY GALORE

WE REALLY DO APPRECIATE THIS GREAT INFORMATION. WE SHALL HAVE MR. KOFFI ALLEN THOROUGHLY INVESTIGATED AND ONCE YOUR ACCUSATIONS AGAINST WERE PROVEN TO BE CORRECT THEN HE SHALL BE PENALISED WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT. IF YOUR ACCUSATIONS AGAINST HIM WERE PROVEN TO BE TRUE THEN I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HIM BECAUSE AFTER BEEN DISMISSED FROM THE BANK, HE SHALL SERVE FOR ANOTHER 2 YEARS IN JAIL. QUITE UNFORTUNATE I MUST SAY FOR A MAN OF HIS CALIBRE TO GET HIMSELF MESSED UP THIS WAY. TOO BAD. I DO HAVE REASONS TO BELIEVE YOU BECAUSE HIS ACTIONS AND WORKING ZEAL HAS CHANGED RECENTLY BUT UNTIL WE HAVE CONCRETE EVIDENCE.

THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION.

DR RICHARDSON COMPAORE
THE OVERALL DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS FOREIGN
REMITTANCE DIVISION BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA) HQ. BURKINA FASO ZONE.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{The lawyer thanks the bank and starts to set up a chance for the lawyer to cash in.}


From: Dee
Sent: Thu 1/10/08 11:26 AM
To: boaremitdept3@excite.com
I am glad to see that this is going to be taken care of. Anyone who would cheat and steal must go to jail, don't you agree.

In other news, Mr. Galore's family is NOT interested in attempting to retrieve the funds which are due to Mr. Handsy Galore. I tried to speak to them about coming up with the $5000 dollars, but they are too interested in splitting up his remaining funds.

It's too bad we could not work something out. As his lawyer, it would not be legal for me to take over the account. Unless you are willing to keep this and the paperwork private, we sadly must end this discussion.

Yours,

Dee Sknuts

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{The lawyer sticks it to Koffi.}

RE: From Mr. Koffi Allen.‏
From: Dee
Sent: Thu 1/10/08 7:43 PM
To: Koffi Allen (allenkoffiali@yahoo.fr)
I'll have you know that I made the bank aware of your treachery and they are going to start an investigation.

Now all the money will be mine and I will not have to split it with you!! In fact, I was able to come up with the money without the help of Mr. Handsy's family and I will be taking the money for my OWN! I told them this was a scam and they believed it. Now the money is MINE!

This is what you get!

Don't bother forwarding this message on to the bank as they will not believe you anymore after your treachery. Please tell your wife I said hello!!

Your friend,

Dee

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{The lawyer warns the bank about Koffi and pretends it was Koffi that started it all.}


RE: BANK OF AFRICA‏
From: Dee
Sent: Thu 1/10/08 7:47 PM
To: boaremitdept3@excite.com
Dear Sir,

I have an understanding that Mr. Koffi Allen is going to try and disparage me. I do not know how he found out I was the one who turned him into you, but I assume he is going to start to make false lies and half truths about me and my credentials.

PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO HIM.

I have the money gathered for the account. Please let me know if we can do a wire transfer.

Thank you for your understanding,

Dee Sknuts


{I'm sure there will be more to come. Stay RSS'd.}

Creepy Newspaper Photoshop (I hope)

This photo appeared in the Wednesday, January 2, 2008 edition of the Westerville News & Public Opinion newspaper.


That is creepy and a real shitty photoshop job. I'm not sure if that is supposed to be God handing down the baby New Year or a preemie baby getting ready to be dropped in a mail slot.

And that poem sucks.

Greg and Dad - Cheney's Point of View in 2009

I am starting a new segment called "Greg and Dad." These are single panel cartoons that are drawn by Greg with text by Dad. The only thing I provide is the panel for Greg to draw in. Or at least in close proximity to.

New Star Wars Character: General Phallus

Greg got a General Pharl McQuarrie Star Wars action figure for Christmas.


His head pops off very easily and as I was sticking it back on I noticed that his neck is actually the end of a penis.


I think I remember a General Phallus from the Return of the Jedi.

Greg and Dad - Voting Difficulties

I am starting a new segment called "Greg and Dad." These are single panel cartoons that are drawn by Greg with text by Dad. The only thing I provide is the panel for Greg to draw in. Or at least in close proximity to.