My father is a smart guy. He’s an engineer and chock full stories that I always took as the gospel truth. While I look back fondly on thos...

It's not really that Ann is so beautiful. It's just that she makes all other children look ugly.

Dear HolyJuan, Just what the heck is tapioca? Sincerely, Puddin' Dear Puddin’, I believe what you are actually asking is “why the hec...

I know there are obvious people you should not fuck with; Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, ninjas, drunken pirates. This is a lesser known list of...

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I read this in the Wednesday 18th, 2007 Westerville News and Public Opinion paper. I'm sure the lettuce was all part of his master plan...

Dear HolyJuan, I am hoping you can help me with a small problem. I am a seventy-one year old man, but I feel like I am twenty-five on the i...

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Source Belgian scientist Dr. Mark Drascht believes the Earth is doomed. “Whether by global warming or cooling, nuclear terrorism or just pla...

I may be the second worst promoter ever. Shrimp Attack! is going to be officially re-released some time this week. Or next week. At leas...

Question: What color is my car? Answer: Blue

I love the Rotten Tomatoes movie review website. They take a large number of movie reviews and cram them all in one spot. I highly sugges...

I got a job. Thanks to everyone who helped and provided support by buying me drinks. I'll be working Tue, Thur and Sat at Sirens in Colu...

What music that shuttle astronauts wake up to Anything libertarians have an opinion about Ending a sentence in a preposition Spelling and gr...

Over a year ago Lia suggested I start this site. I thought she was nuts. Soon after the site was up, she suggested I get business cards. I...

I didn’t have a lot of sex in college. Most of my friends think I did. My MO was to hook up, make out for a while and stick around third ...

Doug, Jen, Andy and Dave. Juliano stuck her head into the photo. At first we were pissed. Now I think we are glad she did.

What American accent do you have? (Best version so far) Midland ("Midland" is not necessarily the same thing as "Midwest...

This photo was taken on my cell phone in my office parking lot.

No toilet paper Used a wad of hair from trash The Aristocrats!

I got the scanner up and running! Sadly, I cannot get my anything funny up and running. This is the best it is going to get today.

In the midst of job searching and writing and attempting to become famous, my computer has crashed pretty damn hard. I bought a new hard dri...

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I think it was a Friends episode where Ross had a list of famous women he was given permission by his spouse/fiancé to sleep with given the ...

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Well crap. Last year at this time, Meshell and I were talking about me publishing a children’s book. She had an illustration called The Po...

As of 9:07 on 6/7/07, I am the number one search return for the phrase Egotistical Bastard on Google. Egotistical Bastard Finally... some r...

{Author's note: This is update number four to the continuing correspondence between a scam artist and our friend, Frank Stein. Check o...

Greg Monster spits a rainbow , originally uploaded by holyjuan . Greg Monster terrifies the locals with his destructive rainbow br...

My favorite part is either the mumbling or the fingering of the bottle during the third take.

{Author's Note: The names have been changed in this article.} I walked out of my house on Saturday morning, preparing to mow the lawn. ...

Don't vote against other TIBU writers.

AP Photo Thanks to Mike at You've Got Smail .

(Source) (WCL) COLUMBUS- Charles Handsy is no ordinary 22 year old college graduate. He’s battled a lifelong, debilitating disease that h...

What are you doing this Thursday ?

A few months ago, I posted the Word(s) of the Day list. Here is part 2. Notice the last word which basically means this is also will be t...

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. ...

T shirt , originally uploaded by holyjuan . I hear people make money designing T-shirts. I am not one of those people.

Erik moved to within 1.2 miles of my home. Tonight, I helped him move a last few items into his new house and then he and I went in search ...

A few months ago I posted a Spelling List of words that my guys in the field (and I) spelled horribly wrong in e-mails and reports. A smat...