HolyJuan: urinal mat

We recently got new urinal mats in the men's bathrooms at work. For the ladies who are unaware, urinal mats are flat, little plastic mats that sit in the bottom of the urinal to help prevent splashing, both from the flushing water and from guys with high pressure. I assume they also help to keep half eaten sub sandwiches and cigarettes from being flushed down as well. Sometimes there are urinal cakes that sit atop the mats. They help to hide the smell of asparagus and 6 hour old, processed beer.

Our company upped the ante recently and invested in urinal mats that are embedded with some kind of addictive, sweet smelling perfume. I actually really like this smell. I find myself going pee 8 - 10 times more a day than normal so that I can spend a few intoxicating minutes with this smell.

On top of it all, the urinal mat has a very pretty orange transparent color to it. I almost feel sad peeing on top of it. It almost looks and smells... edible. That's right. EDIBLE.

I assumed that everyone else in the office felt the same about the urinal mat, so I decided to post a warning to keep everyone from attempting to take a bite out of the mat.

THE URINAL