I don’t give a fuck
I don’t care if you run a mile
I don’t care if you french kiss a vertical smile
I don’t care if you smell like a pile
I don’t care if your shaped like a pear
If you have no hair
Or suck off a bear
I don’t care if you swallow a puck
Or your fingers stuck
Because I don’t give a fuck
I don’t care if you pet the beaver or analy penetrate Mrs. Cleaver
I don’t care if you keep heads in a freezer
I don’t care if you have genital warts or drink bull seaman by the quarts
I have no fear that you ride a steer or have a bumpy gourd stuck in your ear
I don’t care if you’re a candy striper or wear a diaper
I don’t care if your ass sucks canal water or if you know Barry Goldwater
Don’t give a fuck that you’re out of luck or fuck six albino bikers in the back of a truck
I don’t care if you’re a loner or if you knit a sweater for your boner
If you fondle a baker or bury a Quaker
If you’re under house arrest or shave a dinner guest, if you think your smart or smell like an elk fart
If you have cauliflower ear or field dress a deer
I don’t care if you’ve got a good lawyer or an incredibly large goiter
If you eat perch or enjoy a generous cavity search
If you stand naked in an elevator with a machete, or Jell-O wrestle with Mario Andretti
If you act loony or give unmerciful enemas to Rosemary Clooney
If your always on the go, or grab your nose with pliers and scream “look I’m Moe!”
I don’t care if you sing with inflection or go to the Vatican for a free wiener inspection
If you eat a rancid pudding pie or braid the butt hair of your local rabbi
And I don’t care if your uncle wears a hood and his motto is “Hitler bad sausage good!”
Because you suck
And I don’t give a fuck
