Stephen J. Powhida Obituary

In the past, I've written about how people should write their own obituaries. You can never leave that up to someone else, or they will probably get it wrong. A few years ago, I came up with the idea of people writing their obituaries every five years as a way to track goals and see if they were happy with how their life was going. Through this, I've thought about my own obituary and the last words for my parents.

I never, ever thought about writing my brother's obituary. He was invincible. Invincible people don't die. They just don't.

He suddenly and tragically died in a motorcycle accident on September 17th.

This is my tribute to my brother, Steve. I hope I got it right.

Stephen J. Powhida

Steve Powhida was a living legend and irrevocably touched the lives of his family, friends, and anyone who was fortunate enough to encounter him. His death on September 17, 2017 was sudden, unexpected and has greatly saddened us all.

He received his Bachelor and Master Degrees from the University of Toledo and currently owned a consulting firm.

Steve was a father, a husband, a son, a brother, and a friend.

Steve was a father to Sydney, Lexi, and Zachary. As a role model to his children, he taught them to never give up and to fight for the important things. Steve was very supportive of their athletic events and very vocal in his communication with referees when they made, in his opinion, unfavorable calls.

Steve was a husband to Kelly. A great team that raised three wonderful kids. Kelly managed that inevitable chaos that followed Steve wherever he went.

Steve was a son who made his parents, Jane and Greg Powhida, extremely proud. They both gave him the intelligence, personality, and bullheadedness we all knew and loved.

Steve was a brother and was the leader of the siblings: Amy, Doug, and Karen. Their lives were made easier due to the path he carved. Steve got blamed for 75% of the trouble the siblings got into, which is not saying much as he was the cause of 95% of it.

Steve was a friend. There are many who can claim that Steve was a powerful force in their lives. His friends will say the best moments and the most memorable times of their lives were spent with Steve at a game, a tailgate, on a motorcycle trip, in a bar, at a kid's sporting event, at a party, at a graduation, during a family event, in a golf club, during a game of cornhole, poolside, inside/outside/on top of an RV, during a road trip, or off on an adventure. Steve was a terrific host, a great cook and if he wasn't telling you a story, he was probably in the middle of making one.

Steve was a huge fan and supporter of the University of Toledo and their sports program. You couldn't miss him tailgating with his friends and family in the RV at the stadium. The decibel level at the Saturday football games will surely be diminished with his passing.

Steve is a legend and we ask that you carry on his memory. Tell his stories. Cheer louder at the Rockets’ games. Be a great friend. Scream "Detroit, baby" at the top of your lungs. Live life to the fullest.

Friends may visit at the Coyle Funeral Home, 1770 S. Reynolds Rd., on Wednesday September 20, 2017 from 2-8 p.m. Funeral services will be held on Thursday beginning at 10 a.m. in the funeral home followed by the Funeral Mass in St. Joan of Arc Church at 10:30 a.m. Interment Resurrection Cemetery. Memorials may take the form of contributions to UT Foundation-Football Rocket Fuel:

Rocket Fuel account at the University of Toledo Foundation
2801 W. Bancroft St., MS# 319
Toledo, OH 43606

Please view and sign the guest registry at coylefuneralhome.com.

Photos from the Visitation and Funeral:

A few Steve photos:

Detroit, baby!

How to Write Your Own Kick Ass Obituary

Let's be honest, most obituaries are not all that good. The worst part about them is that you are never around to read your own obit and see what a great person you were. Here are some great ideas if you want an exciting obituary that everyone will enjoy reading. As a bonus, you can get even with the people that made fun of you in high school and make a few bucks.

1. Write your own obituary
It is imperative that you write your own obituary or have a trusted friend do it BEFORE you die. If you do not, your Aunt (who has her own blog and fancies herself as a “writer”) will type it up and it will suck and you’ll be stuck with an awful summation of your life.

Once you do finish writing your own obit, make sure you send a draft copy out to all your family and friends so that they can miss you while you are still alive. They will then have the opportunity to pay to be included in the obituary (see section #5) or pay to be excluded from the obituary (see section #8.)

2. Don't give them the satisfaction
Most people will suggest you start off an obit with the person’s name, the date they died and how they died. I suggest you start off with “You are not going to believe this!” or “Guess what that fat f*ck Bob did now” or “You were right.” Don't include your age so that your friends don't get the satisfaction of outliving you.

3. Doug who?
No one knows you by your real name so why die by that name? Nicknames that were used independently of your name go in quotation marks in the middle of your real name.

Robert “Stacks” Gutfruend

Joan “Cookie Monster” McCreedy

Nicknames that were part of your job or the reason you went to jail go before your real name:

“Handsy” Jim Handland

“Luscious Diamond” Tina Ralph

“Tea-Bag” Bill Billingsworth

Or if you don’t want anyone to know you died, just post a fake nickname.

John “Two-Sack” Christopher

If you didn’t have a nickname in real life, make sure you make one up or tell your obit writer your suggestions before you die. And don’t post your middle name. We’re not monogramming a sweater here.

4. Rhyming and haikus make for great obituaries

I suggest trying them together.

You smoked like a fire
Now you're atop a pyre
No flowers please, Thanks!

5. No one cares
No one cares about who died before you or how many cousins you have that are still alive. If your relatives want in your obit, charge them $5 - $10 a mention.

No one cares where you went to school or where you earned your associates degree. List your favorite bars or hang outs. People are more likely to remember Johnny “Cantaloupes” Mullroy from the bowling alley, rather than a graduate of Lancaster High School class of 1988. (Go Gales!)

6. People like excitement
Don’t die of cancer. Die of a space borne alien parasite.

Don’t die in a car accident. Get hit by a meteorite.

Die a hero (stolen from Royal Tennebaums) "Died Tragically Rescuing his Family From the Wreckage of a Destroyed Sinking Battleship."

And do not fail to give a reason for why you died or people will assume it was from something embarrassing. Everyone knows that a non-mention means "bled to death from a masturbation accident."

7. Get donations now
There are services that will “loan’ you a lump sum of money now and get that money back when you die through the "Please donate to" charity suggested in the obituary. The loan companies have names like, “The Amerikan Heart Foundation” and “The Redd Cross” and “Amway.” At the bottom of your obit, have money sent to them in lieu of flowers. If you can’t come up with enough donations to cover your loan, they will take your suit/dress, coffin and body parts to make up the difference.

8. Let those jerks have it
An Obituary is the perfect time to get back at all the people who have pissed you off your entire life. Being dead is the perfect cover for a lie or to let out a really stinky truth. Here are a few examples:

-I never loved you (insert family member’s name here.)

-Coach Rogers touched me on my pee pee after baseball practice.

-I had herpes. Now I have worms.

-Aunt Tina, I was and always will be a Red Sox fan.

-My G-mail and MySpace password is clicktowin34. Go ahead and read my e-mails, honey.

This is also a perfect opportunity for relatives to make “pre-donations” to be excluded from this portion of the obituary. For $10 now, Uncle Bob won't get outted. For $50 neither will your Uncle Lou whom you found with Uncle Bob.

Here is my Obituary, just so you know:

Doug “Holyjuan” Messerschmit

Well, you can all stop placing your bets. Doug is dead. You won’t see him at B-Hampton’s or at Skully’s anymore, but you can see him Ray’s Funeral Home this Wednesday from 6 – 8pm. The parts of his body that were not destroyed when he dove on top the improvised nuclear device and thus saved the city will be on display. HolyJuan liked to dance poorly, drink quickly, tell the same stories and flirt with the ladies. He owned two bowling shirts and 12 pairs of Converse. He is survived by his parents ($20) and one sister ($5.) Donations can be made to the American Kancer Society and my brother used to stick Legos in my butt while I slept.

How to Write an Obituary for a Child

While I am usually irreverent, rude and cynical, I think I can help in putting together words that celebrate a child's life. I assume you are a parent writing this, but it could also be a relative or a close friend. I will keep it open for all. I don’t really know how to write an obituary, let alone how to write one for a child that has passed. But I know what I would write and how I would share the passing of a child.

A child’s death means so little time on Earth. Talk about the time you had with the child. A day. A month. A year. Two. Five. Ten years. About how the child made you smile or laugh. That time was too short, but family and friends should reflect about the loved ones in their life and make sure you let them know that you care for them.

A child’s death is about the loss of potential. That child had so much to live for and so many things they were going to do. Tell others they should take that unused potential to heart. They should think about what they have not done with their life and live it in the memory of the child. Do one thing and silently donate it to the memory of the child.

Talk about how the child looked. When they moved and jumped or picked flowers or looked out a window or looked you in the eyes. But especially how they were so peaceful as they slept. That nothing could touch them. Keep that memory of peace in your mind. Make sure they keep one of those memories alive.

And lastly, let people know that you will be thinking of the child every day for the rest of your life and that it would do nothing but make you happy if they mentioned the child from time to time. They are sad for you and do not want to hurt you. Explain that by sharing memories that you keep the child’s spirit alive.

So here is my example in which I will write about a fictitious child named Clayton.

Clayton passed on March 1, 20XX at the all too young age of four. We miss him greatly and our hearts are broken. Four years was not enough time for Clayton to share all the love in his heart. While his time was short, yours is still on going. Recognize this and share your love with others. Clayton had so many things he was going to accomplish. Every day he wanted to follow his sister to school. He could not wait to go and learn. Take part of Clayton’s potential with you and do something for him whether it be something small or something AMAZING. Do something for Clayton. In my mind I see Clayton digging in the sandbox and looking up every so often to see if I was looking at him. And then he would smile. I want you to remember him like this. Curious and aware. Smiling. There will never be a day that goes by that I do not think of my son. If you see me, sharing a memory will only help to remind me that Clayton’s memory lives on. Don’t be afraid to mention that you are thinking of Clayton, too. He had that effect on everyone. We miss you Clayton, with all our hearts, and you will never be forgotten.


I hope this helps.

Here is a link to some other stuff that people find important:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2120526_write-obituary-child.html

Thelma Robinette

Thelma Robinette passed away Wednesday, April 9, 2008.

She was a loving wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother who will be deeply missed by her family and friends.

Thelma owned and operated the Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream Store in Lancaster for 30 years.

She is survived by her six children, Michael Robinette, Peggy (James) DeJarnatt, Nan (Ralph) VanGundy, Paul Robinette, Jill (Kelly) Adams and Jon (Lauren) Robinette; 14 grandchildren; and four great-grandchildren.

In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband, Darwin Robinette; and a brother, Earl W. Bliss.

According to Thelma's personal request, services and visitation will not be observed.

Interment will take place at Bethel Cemetery, Phillipsburg, at the convenience of the family.

If they wish, friends may make memorial donations in Thelma's name to FairHoPe Hospice and Palliative Care, 1111 E. Main St., Lancaster, OH 43130.

Bope-Thomas Funeral Home in Somerset is in charge of arrangements.

{Author's note: I worked at Mrs. Robinette's Baskin-Robbins in Lancaster back in the late 80's. Thelma (or "T" as she liked to for us to call her) was a wonderful person and always pretty happy (except when we packed two pounds of ice cream into the one pint containers.) I'd like to think that somewhere in the deep unknown, Thelma and Darwin are together, with "T" chatting away and "D" standing close by, lovingly rolling his eyes.}