Listen. You've basically been a turd your whole life. You don't care for anyone but yourself.
Well, fucker, it's time to care about a cause.
No, not cancer.
I'm talking about Off, Off, Off Broadway. I'm talking about Mad Labs.
Mad Labs needs money. They are a bunch of poor acting fucks who think that someday they might make it as big as me. This money might help to cure them of that fantasy.
Go here and join their cause: http://www.causes.com/causes/476165-madlab?m=9e4cc0c7&recruiter_id=22026465
And yes, your person information will be used to sneak children out of China.