Update Your Laminated List Day

I think everyone is aware that February 25th is the Annual Update Your Laminated List Day.

As you all know, a Laminated List is the three famous people with whom your spouse/significant other will allow you to have sex with if ever the opportunity presents itself. If you happen to run into one of your three famous people and they are drunk enough to let you jump in the sack / couch / Uber with you, then you have permission to have guilt free sex with any one of the three people on that list.

My list has only changed slightly with the removal of Kat Dennings (I’m starting to think I can trick Miss Sally into putting Kat on her list) and the addition of Cara Delevingne.

1. Christina Ricci (Still number one after all these years)

2. Milana Vayntrub (She’s the AT&T girl and my crushy crush)

3. Cara Delevingne (I don’t know what it is… but she makes my heart hurt)

Let’s hear what your three picks are!

July 30th is Annual Update You Laminated List Day

I think everyone is aware that July 30th is the Annual Update Your Laminated List Day!

As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom your spouse/significant other will allow you to have sex with, if ever the opportunity presents itself. If you happen to run into one of your three famous people and they are drunk enough to let you jump in the sack / couch / Robert Downey Jr.'s limo with you, then you have permission to have guilt free sex with any one of the three people on that list.

This year, I have done an almost complete revamp of my list.  I tried to avoid being extremely creepy, so this list is just mostly creepy.

1.  Christina Ricci (Not sure she will ever leave the list)

2.  Milana Vayntrub (She’s the AT&T girl and my crushy crush.)

3.  Kat Dennings (I think she would break me in the sack.)

Let's hear what your three picks are!

Laminated List Week 2011

It’s the third week of February and you know what that means! It’s UPDATE YOUR LAMINATED LIST week.

As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom your spouse will allow you to have sex with if ever the opportunity presents itself. If you happen to run into one of your three famous people and they are drunk enough to let you jump in the sack / couch / Charlie Sheen's basement with you, then you have permission to have guilt free sex with any one of the three people on that list.

Every year, during the third week of February, you are allowed to update the list.

So here is my list for 11’ – 12’…

1. Sarah Silverman
2. Christina Ricci
3. Zooey Deschanel


My previous list was : 1. Sarah Silverman 2. Christina Ricci and 3. Leelee Sobieski

Who’s on your list for this year?

An Open Letter to Sarah Silverman

Dear Ms. Silverman,

Hello and greetings from the far east end of the Midwest. My name is Doug and you and I are destined to have sex. I know this may come as a shock to you, but I think the stars are pretty much lined up and they make a bee line from my weenier to your, I assume, well trimmed vaginal groin area.

You are most likely aware of an item called a “Laminated List.” For those who are reading this open letter that are not likely aware, it is a list of three famous people that one spouse will allow the list holding spouse to have sex with, if the opportunity arises.

I recently put you at the #1 spot on my laminated list during the yearly open enrollment. I apologize that you did not make the 07’-08’ list, but we were both very busy and I assume that we would not have been able to make the time to get together.

With your newly single status and my newly laminated list, I believe we have a wonderful opportunity for you to experience seventeen to twenty seconds of very awkward, if not embarrassing, sex with me.

I do not plan on being in Los Angeles or New York in the near future, but I can make arrangements to travel to Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Detroit and/or Columbus. As you are famous, I am hoping that you and land a gig in one of these places. I hear Columbus is especially enjoyable this time of Summer. It would be best if you were shooting a film so that we can have sex in your movie star trailer, as sex in the Funny Bone Comedy Club bathroom is awkward and stinky.

Please contact me at holyjuan@gmail.com to arrange a meeting. I will not call nor contact you afterwards and rules dictate that I remove your name from the list as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

Best of luck and sex with me,


Doug

PS If you could time it, my High School Reunion is at the end of September. It would be great if you could come as my date. I know it's cheesy, but I have several chicks in my class I need to get comeuppance upon.

Laminated List Week

It’s the last week of July and you know what that means! It’s UPDATE YOUR LAMINATED LIST week.

As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom your spouse will allow you to have sex with. If ever the opportunity presents itself, you have permission to have guilt free sex with any one of the three people on that list.

Every year, during the last week of July, you are allowed to update the list.

So here is my list for 08’ – 09’…

1. Sarah Silverman (recently single)
2. Christina Ricci
3. Leelee Sobieski

Sorry Alyssa Milano, you didn't make the cut this year.

Who’s on your list for this year?

Laminated List Week

It’s the first week of October and you know what that means! It’s UPDATE YOUR LAMINATED LIST week.

As you all know, a laminated list is the three famous people with whom you are allowed to have sex. If ever the opportunity presents itself, you and your partner agree that you have permission to have guilt free sex with the three people on that list.

Every year, during the first week of October, you are allowed to update the list.

So here is my list for 07’ – 08’…

1. Christina Ricci
2. Alyssa Milano (she’s back!)
3. Leelee Sobieski

Sarah Silverman has not made the cut, but she has until the end of this week to convince me.

Who’s on your list?