Motivational BS Seminar Spam is Good for Something

I'm not sure if you get these types of seminar spam in your mail box. I get one or two a week. Seminars that are held on a daily basis across the State of Ohio in the best Best Westerns they have to offer.

Over the holidays these damn things filled half of my mail box. So I, being the eco-friendly employee that I am, shoved them all in Josh's mailbox on top of his gathering pile of spam.

When Josh came back from the holidays, it took him a minute to realize that all that paper wasn't his. So he shoved them back in my box.

And then it was on.

We volleyed back and forth for a day or two, crumbling and folding and tearing the adverts. Some might observe, "Isn't the recycling bin right next to the mailboxes?" Yes it is and that's not the f*cking point.

A few days later I had two friends with nametags in my mailbox:

You will note who is on top and who is on bottom:

Upping the ante, I patiently awaited for new ammo to arrive. When it did, I took the mailings to the shredder, shredded them and stuffed the shreddings in his mailbox. I left some dangling out for effect. Josh caught on very quickly when he saw some of my accidental leavings by the shredder. Ever cut into confetti, those obnoxious mailings are easy to pick out from a distance.

A few days later, Josh inquired if I wanted to borrow a book that he had been reading. I accepted the book from across the cubicle. He noted that there were several sections that he had thought I might find interesting.

I did find them very interesting.

I knew I had to take it up a notch. There was a new unwritten rule that the Spaminar mailings could not just be stuck in the other's mailbox. It had to either be freely taken or deposited in the mailbox by other means.

So when more Spaminar mailings appeared in my box from the company, I took them and stuffed the mailings into an envelope.

On the front, I put a fictitious address in Lancaster, OH. I put Josh's name as the sender with a little note requesting return service.

I put a stamp on it and dropped it in the mailbox.

Days passed. I waited.

Then our Prodigal Post came home.


Here's' Josh after retrieving the mail.


That photo was taken right before Josh realized that I had actually sent the letter out and had the post office boomerang it. He thought I had just stuck it in an envelope and faked the front. Once he realize the length I went to, he was a bit more impressed.

Here's the front. I was sad there were not any "RETURN TO SENDER" stamps on this.


I can't wait to see what Josh comes up with next. I have one up my sleeve, but I need a refrigerator box. Let me know if you have one I can borrow.

Josh is a big winner

Josh and Sarah invited us out to Scioto Downs for some local ponies racing entertainment.

I lost $40.

Josh walked off with $200+ by the end of the night. Here was his big $166 winner on a $4 bet:


The big winner himself:

Sarah and Josh's Reception: The Photo Booth

Sarah and Josh had their wedding reception this past Saturday. We all had a lot of fun and people we amazed to meet my wife.

Sarah and Josh decided to rent a photo booth for the evening so that guests could take photos of themselves and then put them into a scrapbook. To help advertise the booth, Sarah had our friend Meshell designed a poster:



As I am completely unobservant, it took me about an hour to figure out that the characters on the poster were actually caricatures.

Now, can you find me?



Yes, that's me. Passed out in the booth, probably forty-five minutes into the event.

Just for reference, here's Miss Sally and I:


I won't show you the Acton photos.

Erik Eats: World Traveler seeks 7-11 Snack

Erik is hungry. By my calculations, he hasn’t eaten in about four months. Lucky for him, he could use the weight loss.

Erik’s crack team of Food Finders have been very busy flying around the world in search of the perfect food. This week’s adventure takes us to Egypt, the land of the seven headed snake that destroys all by shooting our streams of lava from its gaping maw.

This week’s food for Erik Eats is brought out in a traditional Al’Ecrut, the “Cask of Snack,” in which Egyptian Pharaohs were served a mystery food. Erik has donned a traditional Egyptian necklace or Fraca before opening his snack.


What could this Al’Ecrut hold?


Ah ha! Paprika Pringles!

(They look to be sitting atop a pair of ripped up boxers.)


Pringles were a native snack of Egypt before being brought to the United States in 1919 by refugees of the Egyptian/Cylesian War. Kal ed Mufurssa sold the recipe to Mr. Pringles for 2.3 million dollars. In today’s currency, that would be about $415.


It seems this half can of Pringles was purchased at the Cairo Airport for 30 Egyptian Dollars.


I tried to do the math and failed, so I headed to the internet.


Holy shit! Six bucks for a half can of Pringles? This had better be good.

A closer look at the can reveals that this isn’t just a snack, but rather a savoury snack!


Erik carefully opens the can.


Inside!


Wow. Not bad for a 15,900 mile journey and three cavity searches. (Josh went back for seconds and thirds.)

FUN FACT: Egyptian Pharaohs were buried with fresh potatoes that were held in place by large rocks. Over time, these potatoes dried out and flattened. Grave robbers used to eat these delicious snacks while making off with precious treasure. There were known to rub the potato snack under their arms to make them savoury.

(Is this the freaking Rosetta Stone or what?)

Erik takes a chip and begins to eat…






Wait a minute.. doesn’t Erik look a little bit like Xerxes from the 300 Movie?



No, I'm sorry. I was thinking about the Imhotep character from "The Mummy."


While Erik was being photoshopped, Josh tried the Pringles.

His explosion of excitement is evident.

Steph also tried them and elicited an equally explosive reaction.


Erik's decision about the Paprika Pringles?

Thumbs up, they are delicious!!

And the final test is, of course, checking out if the Pringles can make a duck mouth.


Kiss that mummy curse goodbye because this archeologist is only digging up flavor!


Next Week: A trip to Hapventten Sweeden has chocolate going in one end and chocolate syrup coming out the other.

Erik Eats: That of Which Mulch is Made with of Drink Tea and Soy

This week’s Erik Eats segment involves the consumption of a vegetarian product that is purported to replicate one of the greatest meat products of all time. Can Cha Do stand up to the challenge and can it satisfy Erik’s craving for beef jerky?

Here is the bag of Cha Do, Veggie Jerky. Made by the Companion Company.


The Companion Company was very brave to create a clear front so that we could look inside and see the mulchiness that calls the bag interior its home.

Let’s check out the packaging:


What’s this? Cha Do is a Tea Time Snack? This setting won’t do. Let’s take this party up a social notch.


Much better! Let's continue the packaging inspection.

Hot and Spicy! Just like Erik.


And it’s PREMIUM QUALITY!

On the back, I find that the bar code has been covered over by a bar code sticker.

The bar code underneath came from a lawn and garden company. I assume that is where they got their mulch based soy.

There was a very nice message on the back from the manufacturer and some Chinese letters underneath.


Let’s get Arata Isozaki to translate this mess:


Well… let’s not tell Erik this. Next! Into the package!



JUST OPEN THE FUCKING THING!!!!!


Here’s a close up of the product.


Very mulchy.

And stringy.

Erik eats…





He likes it! He says it compares NOTHING to beef jerky, but that it is tasty and very edible.

We also found this in the pack.


The blue packet must be delicious so we give it to Josh to eat.



On the way to the emergency room, Josh said it was crunchy and delicious.

Next week: Potted Plant of which grows from the back orifice of Erik