Goodbye Zima

By now you have probably figured out that I am very, very fem. If you didn't recognize that through the haze of manliness that I exude, listen to this:

I like Zima. I like Zima and I like to put fruit in Zima. I like Zima because it tastes fruity and sparkley and I'm sure that when unicorns cry, they cry Zima tears.

I recently cried when I found out that the unicorns had ceased to produce tears and therefore Zima had halted production. My sister also loves Zima so I called her immediately. The phone didn't even ring once because she had picked it up right as I dialed the last number, feeling a ripple in the force. She asked me, "Did someone in the family die?" I said, "No, it's worse," and I told her and she didn't say anything for a little bit before hanging up.

The next day Amy must have gone around punching and stabbing unicorns because she sent me this photo:


She had traveled in the four state region, collecting Zima from High School parties and under the beds of shamed fraternity brothers. Her collection is not large and someday she will drink the Last Zima. I hope I am there to witness.

Bush Leaves Washington - Die Hard Style

Photo via Ruth Fremson/The New York Times

Heart of Stone

Anne and I used to resort to simplistic means of dealing with project management stress and anger through various hand symbols with taglines. My favorite is “COMMIT.” (Create two fists and bump them knuckles together twice in front of your chest. Commit is used when you have a decision to make and decide to do the hard thing, which is usually the right thing.) The one I am using today is “HEART OF STONE.” (Create one fist and place it thumb first on your heart. Heart of Stone is used when you remove emotion from the equation and continue moving forward. Make a stone of your heart.)

I’ve decided to take the route of collecting all my Dave-leaving sadness and cramming it way down into my reality masking, humor generator. Not only can I avoid any possible un-manly emotional outbursts, but in doing so, I will create MORE content for holyjuan.com. I do this for myself, but you, my faithful readers, will reap the reward.

Heart of Stone. In the words of Lloyd Dobler, “The rain on my car is a baptism. The new me. Iceman, power Lloyd. My assault on the world begins now. Believe in myself, answer to no one....”

And now enough of my personal issues and back to comics of Jesus getting hit with a water balloon.

I'll Miss Dave

Goodbye, Dave.

Erik Eats: Fish, With Smell and Little Speak

"Fresh" Fish Snack


Concern?


Mascot


Peek Inside


Treasure Flavor


Fresh Fish Snack - Fresh Fish - Fish Snack


Fresh Fish Snack Ingredients


Fish Snack Ingredients


Prepare to Eat!


Smell of Face Cramp


Expiration Date?


Keegan Smells


Erik Examines


Fish?


Eat.


Savor.


Relish.


Weep with Delight


VOTE!!!!


Next Week - Foreign dried potatoes with dried plant scrapings.

{Dedicated to Sarah. We miss you terribly.}