Gummy Choco of taste which smile contains withdrawn

We went to the Chinese Buffet today and ate and ate and ate. Afterwards, we went next door to the Asian Market to buy another product to test on our hero, Erik.

This week's find: Gummy Choco!

Somehow, Muscat worked it's way into the title. Muscat is either a type of grape or a rare form of deer droppings.

Upon opening the canister, we see what seems to be large rabbit droppings or small deer droppings.


Here are some deer droppings for comparison purposes:


Erik seems very interested at this point and uses a combination of yoga and yodeling to restrain his gag reflex.

Erik then fills his gaping maw with the seemingly chocolate lumps.


Let's take a moment to examine the interior of the Gummy Chocos.


Well well well. A sneaky, triple layered combination of tasty chocolate and mystery creme... The internet provided a detailed description of the interior components.

Sadly, only one ingredient showed any possibility of poisoning our hero:


Erik managed to choke down 32 - 33 of the yummy chunks of deer like feces before reverse swallowing them into a garbage container unit.


Great job Erik!

Next Week: Spicy, Sweet Ovary Lollipop

Every Burger: Yum of delicious taste testing

We head out once a month to the local Chinese buffet for lunch. Right next door to the buffet is a conveniently located Chinese grocery store that sells stuff like wax berries, dried ginger and Every Burger. Today, we will test the Every Burger on the unsuspecting Erik, who was unable to make it to lunch.

Every Burger Box (front)

This looks harmless… and it looks like whatever is in there, there are two of them.

Every Burger Box (back)

Looks like we have been tricked as this is a product of Japan. Oh well. The first two ingredients are flour and sugar, we believe our hero is safe. But wait? What's this?


Rapeseed Oil? Gross. Good thing it is only mildly toxic to humans.

Upon opening the box we find two foil sealed packets and some kind of warning on the flap.


I had my good friend Arata Isozaki translate the text on the flap.


Opening the foil reveals… eight, cute little burgers!


This photo illustrates the smallness of the burger and the largeness of the hair on Erik’s arm which migrated down from his scalp.


Erik eats the burger and to his delight…

IT’S DELICIOUS!

They taste like Kit-Kats with a slightly gritty, but inoffensive, texture.

Thanks Erik! And thank you to the Mid-Ohio Poison Control and Stomach Pumping Facility.

NEXT WEEK: Taint Berries

Jesus at the Chinese Buffet