HolyJuan: Keegan

Showing posts with label Keegan. Show all posts

Installation Underwear

In December of 2012, Keegan and I were in Las Vegas for an exhibit installation at the Discovery Children's Museum. We were wrapping up the installation, but had to extend our stay due to some delays and city inspections that, oddly enough, took place over the weekend.

Saturday night after a successful inspection.

On that Sunday, we decided to go to see Hoover Dam after we did some laundry. Keegan said to me, “You must be out of clean underwear by now,” and I replied, “Duh, of course,” secretly smirking because I know the secret of wearing the same pair of underwear four times. The hotel didn’t do laundry over the weekend, so we went in search of a laundry mat. Las Vegas must have some larger aversion of Sunday laundry because we went to three different laundry mats and they were all closed. The third location we tried was next to a Target, so Keegan said that we could just buy underwear, so we did. I wish I had photos of Keegan and I going through the underwear rack and gleefully comparing the different brands, sizes, and colors. More than likely, Target probably has security footage of it that they watch when in need of entertainment.

Underwear purchased, we headed to Hoover Dam for a day of tourist fun and then traveled home a few days later.

Keegan on the bypass bridge overlooking Hoover Dam

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas

After returning to work for a week, Keegan and I were summoned to the front desk. We had turned in our trip expenses and the Finance Woman in charge of going through the receipts had some questions for us. She had clearly been interrogating Keegan already, because he looked physically and mentally spent.

Keegan had tried to explain to Finance Woman that it was not his fault that the trip was extended, and we didn’t have any other alternatives. She said that she didn’t care what the circumstances were, but he couldn’t expense underwear. I quickly understood that Keegan had put his underwear on his expenses for reimbursement. I had not. I believe Keegan had purchased a few other things at Target that were normal expense items and, shit, why not get the underwear paid for as well. Our company would normally pay for clothes washing services, but it seems they had a real problem with paying $9.99 for three pairs of underwear.

Keegan tried to argue that, if he had used the hotel washing services, it would have cost $30 and he was actually saving the company money. She didn’t buy that. She said the company would not pay for clothes the employees kept. That’s when Keegan came up with a brilliant idea: he would give the underwear back to the company. They would become Installation Underwear. We would keep them in the job box, and if an employee out on an installation ever needed a pair, due to an extended install or pants soiling event, they could use a loaner pair of Installation Underwear.

It was a game changing innovation.

She said no.

Keegan was not reimbursed for his underwear, but I think him paying $9.99 for story that will last a lifetime is completely worth it.

Twins

Sometimes you plan the day ahead what you two should wear.

Sometimes, you call each other that morning and coordinate clothes.

And sometimes you just roll over and say, "Keegan, let's have a twins day."

Keegan loses control

We've had Keegan working overtime to prepare for an event this weekend. And from looking at this photo...

...it seems that either:

A: Keegan had coolant leak on to his jeans
B: Keegan was shocked by an ungrounded wire and lost bladder control
C: Keegan was over committed to his work and decided to continue working rather than take a bathroom break
D: Keegan is sexually aroused by lasers

I'll help you decide.
It's not A: because the coolant is located lower than where he is standing
It's not B: because Keegan would never have an ungrounded wire (for the 10th time)
It's not C: because Keegan is never that committed to work
It's not D: because Keegan is impotent due to several ungrounded wire shocks

So I guess it is none of the above. Why do you think the stain on Keegan's pants is?

CRUSH!

You might be familiar with an experiment that involves heating a container with a small amount of water in it, capping it and then cooling it. The cooling causes a difference in pressure and the result is very fun to watch.

My friend Keegan decided to try this experiment with an oil drum. Here is the result:

He was pretty proud of this experiment and claimed that it was the largest type of experiment he had seen on the internet. That was until we found this one:

Not exactly the same experiment, but the result is amazing.

Insight Communications Deceptive Envelope

My friend Keegan shared with me a few weeks ago about a deceptive envelope he received from Insight Communications on the same day he received a letter from the IRS concerning his Economic Stimulus Payment.

Here are the letters side by side:

Which is which?

Here is the Insight Communications letter with call outs:

Real "detach along perforation" strips, too! I hope that cost them extra.

When the Insight Communications letter was opened, it revealed some bullshit advertisement for saving $575 on a bundled cable/internet/phone package.

Though no old ladies are going to get scammed from this advertisement, I am against anything that is so obviously misleading. There was an obvious attempt to make consumers think that this envelope contained IRS information and it's unfortunate that they would think that any consumer would be dumb enough to be fooled once the letter was un-perforated along the edges and opened.

Keegan, though, was not so fortunate and signed up for the cable deal, thinking that it was required to receive his stimulus check. He now has HBO, HBO1, HBO2, HBO beta and HBOh Shit.