HolyJuan: Jesus Fish

Awhile back ago, I wrote about Avoiding the Jesus Fish. My personal opinion is that people who advertise with a Jesus Fish are two bit scammers, working on the hearts, rather than the minds of consumers. Maybe a good advertising ploy, but I assume Jesus would frown upon it.

It’s an old article, but some poor woman happened upon it and found the need to comment. I found the need to argue with her using made up facts and lies. She took the bait and our conversation is as follows:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure why the attack on plumbers, or any other business owner. My husband is a plumber and we are both Christians. No, his logo doesn't have a fish, but a "Knight" with a small cross on the sheild, representing the armour of faith. Most wouldn't even know the reason for the logo but it's what was chosen to represent HIMSELF, not to scam for business. As Christians, we are told by Jesus that if we don't publicly profess Him to others then He will not profess us to our Heavenly Father. Again, it's just something we choose to do, like others that choose to wear an "I'm with stupid" tee shirt or wear their pants down to their knees. It has nothing to do with using religion to gain business favors. If you have good service, you don't need it anyway, do you? Give the guys a break!!

Doug said...

See mam, that's the problem. If you do have good service, you don't need to trick people in by using a false God symbol. (No where in the Bible is the Shield with a cross on it mentioned, heathen.) If you husband provided good service, he wouldn't need it.

But I tracked down you husband's business and the Better Business Bureau had a few things to say:
1. over charging
2. shoddy craftsmanship
3. kicked a dog at owner's house
4. sleeping on the job
5. huge butt crack reveal

Mam, your husband should have three Jesus fishes and eight shields with a cross, a Jewish star and stack of Quran in his ads just to make sure you get all the business you can.

Good day friend!

Anonymous said...

While the Bible doesn't directly mention a "shield with a cross on it," the 6th chapter of Ephesians mentions putting on the whole armor of God, and one piece of this armor is faith, represented by a shield. Of course, this is symbolic, and so is the empty cross in Christianity. Makes sense to me, since the anonymous poster said earlier that the reason that emblem is used in her husbands logo is to represent the armor of faith.

Doug said...

NO! In the Latin translation of the Bible (I assume you are using the Americanized version) it says in Ephesians 6-12 "Thou shall make of thy SOUL armor of thy Lord." This does not mean a physical logo that you slap on a so-so Plumber's ad in the yellow pages.

You are defiling the Lord with your Pegan symbol. If Jesus were here, he would kick over your yellow pages ad in the Temple along with the tables of doves.

You sicken me.

Anonymous said...

Why in the world are you using the Latin Vulgate as your source when the original letter to the Ephesians was written in Greek...? Most Protestant Christian churches disregard the Latin Vulgate as canon.

The original Greek letter places these two words adjacent to each other: thyreos, which can be translated as a reference to a shield, and pistis, which references "faith."

The verse in question is also Ephesians 6:16, not Ephesians 6:12, or for that matter, 6:11 which sounds more like what you were referring to.

I'm sorry I sicken you. And I sincerely apologize for whatever harm any person has done to you to make you feel a personal vendetta against Christians. But you need to understand that not all Christians are the same, and generalizing Christians does nothing to help any situation. It only makes everything worse, just as Christians generalizing Atheists makes everything worse.

I understand that not all Atheists are snobby condescending Christian hating people who are trying to "extinguish" the world of religion. I hope you understand that not all Christians are Bible-beating fundamentalists who are out to further their own agenda and shove their beliefs down our throats.

Doug said...

Wow, you couldn't be more incorrect. You should check the Hermosis Guanta Codex for help with translation. Most scholars agree to the pistis meaning faith, but thyreos is a derivation of thyrscis, which loosely means a large separation of body or "A big shit." I think basically what they are trying to say is that anyone who would profess their faith along with an advertisement for their work buries their faith in excrement. You should study your bible history. This is an outrage.

Anonymous said...

Lol that was actually pretty funny. But seeing as you're just messing with me now, there's no need to continue. See ya!

Doug said...

Thanks for playing.

If you are like me, you avoid companies that use the Jesus Fish to advertise. It seems very hypocritical.

Didn’t Jesus go nuts and beat the shit out of the money changers for exactly the same thing? Do these advertisers think that Christians are blind and will choose a plumber with a fish over a plumber with a one hour guarantee?

I decided to do some research in the Columbus yellow pages to see what I could find.

Plumbers Love Jesus

I don't know why, but plumbers use the Jesus Fish more than any other advertiser. Here are a few plumbing examples:

Fisting Jesus Lover- This guy is putting out multiple messages here:

These plumbers love Jesus so much, they have integrated him into their logos.

This guy has gone completely overboard.

This home inspector may love the Lord Jesus Christ, but it seems like Jesus Fish is chasing the guy. (The guy also looks pretty fem):

I had to include this photo because it freaks me out. There are certain rules about putting your photo in the yellow pages and this lady has broken at least six of them.

I am confused by these fishes.

This fish says "Since 1974." Does that mean that before 1974 they were Pagans? Or is this more Bible math that squeezes our history down into 5,000 years?

Stop Jesus? Stop using Jesus in advertising? I don't get it.

Where's the fish?

I was concerned because there were several places that I did not see Jesus Fish where I thought I should:

Carpenters
Come on. Jesus was a carpenter.

Churches
Gee Whiz! I thought there would be a Jesus Fish in every advert. But none. Zip. Seems that churches don’t feel the need to prostitute Jesus out to get their customers. (Well, at least not in the yellow pages.)