There is such a thing as a bad milkshake

For my birthday (well, it was on my birthday) a few coworkers decided we should have a milkshake taste test. Seeing as we are not located in the culinary mecca of the city, we only had a few places to choose from so we did the best with what we had. We tested chocolate shakes from:

Steak and Shake (chocolate and Hershey's Special Dark)
Burger King
Wendy's
Dairy Queen

Steak and Shake Chocolate

The Steak and Shake chocolate was a very good chocolate shake. There was an even chocolate taste and it felt like real ice cream. Some comments included, "light chocolate taste", "really good" and "thin."

Burger King Chocolate

When we took the lid off the Burger King chocolate, we were confused. The shake looked white. An initial taste seemed to suggest that there was a light chocolate taste, but that it was underwhelming. Our only guess was that it was white chocolate and that BK got the order wrong. We tucked in and it was complete crap. Comments included, "marshmallow fluff," "cream" and "poor white chocolate." Oddly enough, one of our testers actually enjoyed the taste. I have to assume he hates chocolate. Fortunately he did like this shake because while finishing it off, he discovered what the problem was:

It seems the way Burger King makes their shakes is to stick the chocolate in the bottom, add the neutral milk shake liquid and then mix it up. It seems that they forgot to mix this one up.

Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark

The Steak and Shake Hershey's Special Dark shake was also tasty, if not a bit too chocolaty. It had a similar texture to the first Steak and Shake shake. (remember this: Metro Station - Shake It) One taster has problem with the froze chocolate chips being disconcerting to eat with the smooth shake. Other comments included, "smooth," "a bit too chocolaty" and "rich."

Frosty Chocolate Shake

Let's get one thing straight. A Frosty is not a shake. A Frosty is a frosty and I don't want to delve into religious beliefs here, but I assume that if there is a heaven, there are Frostys there and if there is a hell, there are none.

That being said, Wendy's felt the need to shame the Frosty by offering shakes. I did think for a moment that if you took a Frosty and let it melt a little, you'd get a shake. I've never eaten a Frosty slow enough to see it melt, so I was a bit curious. Maybe this might be delicious.

Wrong.

The Wendy's Chocolate shake is terrible. Too chocolaty and not smooth. Other comments included, "madness" and "worse than a Frosty."

The can only assume that this chocolate shake idea came out after Dave Thomas died or right before and it killed him.

Dairy Queen Chocolate Shake

Expectations were low for the Dairy Queen chocolate shake. I mean, it's Dairy Queen.

We were wrong.

The Dairy Queen shake was delicious. Smooth, a great chocolate taste. The classic chocolate shake. I realize that the Dairy Queen shake may not be hand dipped and mostly processed, but it was an awesome shake.

In the end, the Dairy Queen chocolate was rated highest and the Steak and Shake chocolate came in a close second.

And just so you are aware, the guy who thought the BK shake was delicious had all his votes thrown out.

Shake shake shake shake shake it.

Erik Eats: Pucca Chocolate – Succulent aquatic holy crunch which pleasure chew magnify

After suffering from two weeks of gut wrenching food poisoning, Erik is back with a delightfully cute and fun snack called Pucca Chocolate. Will this fun loving snack trick us back to the hospital?

The snacks seem to be fish and squid shaped with a chocolate blood center. It looks like some of them were killed with a very small caliber bullet. If we find a small piece of metal in the center, we’ll know.

Here's the top of the package. Look! They are "NEW!"


And the bottom with expiration date. Ouch... not so new. They expire in May of 2008. Luckily we are on the Godfearing side of the international date line and we have a few hours to polish them off.


On the back of the package is... what the hell? Is this some kind of puzzle?


It is! Here is the translation of the clue:


Using a decoder ring and the fumes from a few cans of Sterno, we are able to figure out the clues and decode the SUPER SECRET MYSTERY PUZZLE OF WORDS!


By now, Erik is high on Sterno fumes and giddy with hunger.


A pull and a tug and a rip and a tear.


A foil pack inside!


A-ha! The package within a package reveals...


...fish and squid crackers. With a whole lot of holes! Each cracker, be it squid or fish, shall have a hole and the number of holes shall be one. I assume that is how they fill the crackers with chocolaty blood goodness. But let's be sure...

A hammer blow should reveal the innards!



Whack!


Erik is too strong! The fish is smashed beyond recognition. Instead will try a sharp object. (Note: Photo was blurred to protect the viewer from seeing the blood squirting from Erik's fingers on his eighth attempt to cut a round, slippery fish cracker in half.)


Here is the insides of the fish:


I'm starting to think that the hole is used to blow air inside the fish to ensure that as much chocolate as possible is forced out.

Before we could eat any of the fish, Stephanie had an idea.


"Let's put the fish in it's natural habitat and see if it comes to life!"

So we got a container of water,


dropped the fish in,


watched it float,


watched it get soggy,


watched it sink after twenty minutes,


then pulled it out and tossed the gross soggy bit to leave the chocolate center behind.


We realized that was a complete waste of time and begged Erik to eat the fish.






He likes it!!!

Next week, we'll travel to Egypt and see what American foods taste like overseas when they are made in America, shipped overseas, purchased at an airport and then flown home to be digested.