Why, Thank You and Why Thank You

I hate people. Not you, of course. I like you. Just everyone else.

On the local talk radio, the topic of the day was rude people. A fired-up caller (oddly not a “long time listener/first time caller” which I thought everybody had to say on talk radio) had two stories to share. One was a general observation that people don’t say thank you anymore when you open the door for them. The second was a long winded story about how he found a wallet at a hotel, took it to the front desk, got the wallet owner’s room number, went to the room to return it and the man grabbed the wallet and shut the door without saying anything.

This is why I hate people. People should never do anything nice in life expecting to be rewarded for it. I think hard work should be rewarded. I think innovation should be rewarded. But don’t expect to get your ego massaged just because you think you are doing something nice.

Do the right thing because it is the right thing.

The caller on the radio was obviously a turd. Opening doors and expecting thanks is one thing. Going out of your way to try and weasel thanks/ a reward is ever turdier. I’m not sure why the hotel would have given the caller the wallet owner’s room number. That has got to be against some policy. What I didn’t mention was that the caller had gone through the wallet (I would have too), and was bitching because there was a lot of money in it and he wasn’t offered a reward.

You know this caller is a douche. A good person (you or me) would have dropped the wallet off at the front desk and went on their way. This guy was fishing for a thanks or a couple bucks as a reward. He should have cut out the middle man and taken the money, which I’m sure is what actually happened and the guy made the rest of the story up. No hotel would give out a room number to a total stranger.

I see these types at the four-way stop. The ones that smile and try to wave you through, when they should have gone first. I just sit there and stare right at them. They wave, franticly trying to be nicer. And I stare. Then they throw up their arms in disgust and tear through the intersection, pissed off. I love it.

Now, before you start sounding off the hypocrite alarm, I have in the past stressed that people MUST say thanks and send thank you notes. This is still true. If someone opens the door for you, say “Thanks!” If someone finds your wallet, explain that that is all the money you have in the world and that you cannot give a reward, but if there is anything you can do, you will. It is customary and polite.

But don’t ever give into these “Thank You” whores who force you into a Thank You situation. The nice guy that opens the door when you are 50 feet away. The nice guy at the four way stop. The nice guy that explains to everyone that he is doing something nice. Just use this secret code as you pass by them, “Why thank you”. No comma. You can add the question mark in your inflection when you get really good at it.